Suffering is a natural part of our human experience, but we compound this suffering by constructing thoughts and narratives that lead us away from the things we want and the way things actually are.  

When we examine our world with detachment from our personal ego and its desires, we are able to see a common unity, shared ground, and the truth of a situation. We find the responsibility for our own actions in our relationships.  

“Let’s look at The Four Noble Truths. The first noble truth states that there is suffering in the world. The second states that there is a cause for this suffering. What you’re writing down on these worksheets is the cause of the suffering. The third noble truth is that there is a way out of suffering. There’s a way to end discontent. The fourth noble truth I like to call “here’s how.” Here’s how to end the discontent.” ~ Byron Kate, Session 1 of The Work 

When we tell ourselves stories, they become the world around us. They order and align what we think we know. But what if our narratives are constructed around assumption and misinformation? 

Then your stories become your self-imposed chains. 

We shed those attachments through inquiry.  

“It’s how the mind works. The ego’s life depends on identifying as this object. And it doesn’t sleep. That’s why inquiry is so important. Otherwise the ego will find a hole, a way to get a grip on you.” ~Byron Katie, Session 2 of The Work 

One wayward belief is enough. When it works its way into your psyche, it begins to fester — creating feelings of unworthiness, anxiety, social pressure. 

But what if you could drop that poisonous thought forever? How would your world change? Would you cease holding yourself back from chances? Would you start stepping into situations with joy and enthusiasm? 

“Bodies have never attracted anyone. Not ever. Let’s say I’ve got this beautiful, perfect body… Are men falling in love with me or an object? Can I take this object home? Are they going to think on it? Turn themselves on, turn themselves off, from here? So when someone says “I love you,” you can trust it if you’re authentically awake and natural.” 

~ Byron Katie, Session 4 of The Work 

When you know something to be true, the world feels right and ordered. 

How do you know? You inquire — not with one question and the first answer that comes to the surface, but by digging into how you really feel. By asking yourself authentic questions and sitting with the answers. By stepping back and seeing the whole, grand picture, beyond the individual beliefs that prick at your psyche. 

“If I say, “Something terrible is going to happen.” Is it true? Yes. Can I absolutely know this? Yeah, it’s life. A person that doesn’t meditate in the question and allow themselves to see what is shown to them is just guessing. It’s not inquiry. The answer I’m talking about needs a willingness to ask and be open to whatever comes. Be shown and be still in it.” 

~Byron Katie, Session 5 of The Work 

When we’re presented with feelings of ineptitude or not being enough, we can turn away from the blissful ease of perspective and into the dramatic anxiety of fear. It springs from our anticipation of the worst. We focus on what could happen as opposed to being present, mindful, and fully in the moment.  

The truth is, nothing truly bad has ever happened, will happen, or is happening right now. Only your thinking makes it so.  

“Are you okay if they take your house, they take your car, they take everything, without the thought, “I need more money.” Are you okay? So imagine yourself, sitting on the curb and you’re watching people move into your house. The house you loved and they’re moving in and they love it and you don’t even have money for a hotel room. But you’re sitting there, you watch the joy and witness the joy as they’re moving in.” ~Byron Katie, Session 6 of The Work 

The power of turning it around puts the onus and responsibility where it belongs, on us. When we try an opposite, we can see how our own projection shapes our understanding of the people and experiences we come across.  

“Nothing has changed but this thought that you’re believing. Rather than believing his mind, you’re believing yours. You see the friction this thought has caused. It’s pouring into both of your lives because of something you’re believing that you have no proof for. ‘He doesn’t want to be my business partner,’ turn it around. Let’s try an opposite.” ~Byron Katie, Session 7 of The Work 

Life is full of small struggles between what is and what we want it to be. When we make declarations that deny us something, it’s helpful to turn that around and inquire as to the why. When you do, you see that you have cut off the trail before you’ve even started down it.  

Couple this attitude with a past traumatic experience, and you have all the makings of a story with you as the central victim. What happens when you turn that around and feel the opposite? Your perspective shifts, and you see the things you want aren’t that far out of reach.  

“Your heart’s too big to shut down. And nothing can shut it down. But what we’re thinking and believing,it feels like being strangled, like cutting off your life force.” 

~ Byron Katie, Session 8 of The Work. 

We provide the subtext to all our conversations and interactions. We bring with us our experiences, our emotional state, our desires for the future, and our fears and inadequacies. We can distort, mistake, or even exaggerate some interactions because of this information. 

So how do you break free? One by one, you separate from the thoughts that are binding you. When you do, perhaps it isn’t someone trying to control you or make you do something, but helping or allowing you to do something else. Possibly, something even better.  

“He’s trying to control you. Okay, so close your eyes and we’ll look at him. See him, just the way it was. Now, you have a post-it on him, those little sticky post-its. He’s trying to control you. All right now take that post-it off and who you are without your story? Look at him, hear him. And who are you without the thought he’s trying to control you. What do you see?” 

~ Byron Katie, Session 9 of The Work 

Often when we have a prescription for someone, such as, “they need therapy,” it’s really our way of saying that we need therapy. We are hypersensitive and overly critical to our own faults, especially when we see them displayed in others. We have all the judgment and none of the understanding.  

How do you discern what is wanting the best for someone and imposing your expectations on their life? The former gives us space to feel joy and purpose regardless of the other person’s development, the other is full of anxiety and doomed to failure.  

“The most beautiful gift is to love without condition. I’ll tell you a short story. I have three children, five grandchildren, and I have never invited them to one of my events, ever, but they come. Not all of them… You have the power to shift everything. As you shift, the world shifts.” ~ Byron Katie, Session 10 of The Work